UMF Endowment Handbook Pt 4 of 9

Guide to Memorial and Honor Giving

This material is excerpted from the "Planned Giving Handbook for Local Churches" published by the National Association of United Methodist Foundations.

People have both a need and a desire to give. Some want to give now and see the effects of their gift. Others want to give so that their gift will keep on giving long after they are gone. In either case, the church has an opportunity to assist them in responding to their need and desire to give.

Most information about giving to and through the church focuses on "funding the budget" through commitment programs, but there are other ways and times where giving opportunities are present. Memorial and honor gifts are good examples of these "other" opportunities to give, and they afford meaningful ways for family, friends, and the congregation to remember persons of faith and special events in their life's journey.

The basic purpose of memorial giving is to remember a deceased person or past event. There may be times when persons choose to make a memorial contribution in lieu of flowers at the time of a funeral. There may be a desire to remember someone who died some time ago. There may even be a desire to make a memorial contribution on the anniversary of the birth or death of a family member or friend. These and other occasions offer opportunities to make meaningful memorial gifts.

Honor giving, on the other hand, is to honor a living friend or loved one or to celebrate a special occasion. There may be a person for whom you have wanted to do something special. There may be someone who doesn't need anything, who "has everything", yet you want to do something for him or her. These "living memorials" or honor gift opportunities may provide ways to remember a birthday or anniversary, other special events, or they may offer a good way to say "thank you." What better way to express such deep feelings of gratitude, remembrance, and celebration than through the Church which shall for all times be involved in spreading the Good News of Jesus Christ throughout the world.

Memorial and honor gifts are best handled through the structure of the Permanent Endowment Fund Committee which may be established by the Charge Conference. (See Chapter II). You may choose to have a sub-committee of the Permanent Endowment Fund Committee for memorial and honor gifts. This sub-committee will be helpful in recommending ways to promote, receive, record, acknowledge, and direct memorial and honor gifts.

In many churches memorial and honor gift funds have been allowed to accumulate, sometimes into the thousands of dollars. Sometimes these funds are not even invested in interest bearing accounts. People give memorial and honor gifts to be used either to meet current needs or to provide funding for future needs. When the gifted funds are not used or wisely invested to fund future needs, donors are not only discouraged from making future gifts, but they oftentimes look elsewhere for causes to which they will make future memorial gifts.

It is essential to have guidelines for memorial and honor gifts. These guidelines outline ways prospective donors can give and the proper procedure to follow in making their gifts. They also provide guidance for the church in the use of the gifts. Having to gain consensus of numerous members of a family and certain leaders of the church as to the use of certain memorial funds can be a difficult experience. It is much better to have guidelines in place before the gifts are given than to face the need to make decisions after the gifts are in place. In this way the donor knows when making his or her gift how the gift will be used.

Many churches have encountered difficulties when guidelines are not in place. For example, in one church memorial contributions were given at the death of a member of the choir. Many of those who contributed stated that they would like their gifts used to purchase new choir robes. But only $500 was contributed toward a project that would cost $1,500; thus the money sat idle in a checking account (bearing no interest). Two years later, donors began to ask "What happened to my memorial gift? Where are the new choir robes?" Some members were quite disappointed and said, "That's the last time I will give a memorial gift to the church." Clearly drawn and publicized guidelines could have avoided this problem. For example, had there been guidelines in place which addressed how memorial gifts would be handled which were not of adequate size to accomplish the purpose stated by the donor(s), considerable disagreement and disappointment might have been avoided. What became "an excuse not to give again" could have become "a good reason to make another memorial contribution".

Every donor has a need for recognition. This may not be a formal expression such as the placement of a plaque in an appropriate place in the church (or it may be). It may be simply saying "thank you" in the most appropriate way. The Permanent Endowment Fund Committee (and the sub-committee on Memorials and Honor Giving) needs to develop the art of saying "thank you" so that every donor receives that level of recognition and thanks which reinforces good feelings and makes the donor glad he or she gave this special gift.

In less than 24 hours after a memorial or honor gift is received, a notice should be sent to the family or next-of-kin (in the case of memorial gifts) or to the honoree (in the case of honor gifts) informing them of the gift, the donor, and the cause for which the gift was given. At the same time an acknowledgment should be sent to the donor and should include (1) the amount of the gift, (2) the name of the person(s) remembered or honored, (3) how the gift will be used, and (4) an expression of thanks for the gift.

Where a number of gifts were given by several persons, you might consider informing the family or honoree the total of all gifts; but never disclose the amount of individual gifts to the family of the person memorialized or to the person honored unless the donor has specifically asked that this be done.

Use your church bulletin and newsletter to announce memorial and honor gifts that have been received and the persons remembered or honored by these gifts. (Again, never indicate the amount of individual gifts.) Seek out appropriate ways to say "thank you" and to recognize gifts, and the donors will look for additional opportunities to make memorial and honor gifts to the church.

"The first step in asking for a new gift is the acknowledgment and thank you for the last gift." It is extremely important to the success of the Memorial and Honor Gifts Program that every gift is properly acknowledged and that the appropriate "thank you" be expressed.

The Permanent Endowment Fund Committee should report regularly to the Administrative Board/Council on all of its activities. This reporting process might include a quarterly report on memorial and honor gifts which have been received. The more information given to leaders and members of the church, the more encouraged they will be to make gifts. A false assumption in many churches is that everyone knows everything that is going on in the church. This is not the case. We all need reminders, at appropriate times, lest we forget.

Church leaders often ask why members make so many significant memorial and honor gifts to other institutions and so few to their church? The answer is simply that many churches do not ask their members to consider memorial and honor gifts to the church, they do not have a plan in place to receive and administer such funds, and they have not helped members and friends learn how to make such gifts.

Special gifts like memorial and honor gifts need promotion. These kinds of gifts do not "just come in". People need to be reminded how to make memorial and honor gifts at the death of loved ones and friends, at times of celebration, or when they think about someone they intended to remember or honor but have overlooked. Reminding people once each year is not enough. Keep the message before your church membership with one-liners in the church bulletin and newsletter n such as:

An attractively designed brochure can be used to inform members and friends how they can make memorial and honor gifts. This brochure should inform prospective donors about the guidelines your church has for these kinds of gifts while offering assistance to them in making their gifts. A "dream list" (as some churches have called it) can offer ideas of needs the church has as well as offer gift-giving options. While the list need not be exhaustive or limiting, it can be useful in guiding donors to choose useful and needed gift ideas over those which may not be as useful or needed by the church. This list will change as new needs arise and as ideas on the list have been funded. Keep it up-to-date.

Be creative with the "dream list" so that it will speak to large as well as small gift prospects and to permanent and long-range needs as well as current needs. Do not be afraid to include large gifts as well as small ones on your list. For example:

The brochure should also have a tear-off form that provides space for the donor to indicate:

A special Memorial/Honor Gift envelope is extremely helpful in encouraging persons to make memorial and honor gifts. A very few such gifts will more than offset the cost of printing these envelopes. The format of the envelope should be at least 3 1/2" x 5 1/2" and have a full flap. This format will give adequate space to print the Guidelines for Memorial/Honor Gifts on the outside of the flap. On the inside there is adequate space for the same information suggested above for the brochure.

Memorial/Honor Gift envelopes should be kept in the pews racks in the church at all times. Some churches have a custom of placing these envelopes in the worship bulletin where such is used for funerals or memorial services (when the family has been consulted). Some funeral homes permit these envelopes to be distributed with memorial bulletins or folders which are distributed at services held in the chapel of the funeral home. Again, this should be done when the family has indicated that memorials may be made and has given approval for the envelopes to be distributed in this way.

A letter from the pastor, the chairperson of the Permanent Endowment Fund Committee or Memorial/Honor Gift Sub-Committee, or another church leader to each family in the church can provide an effective introduction to memorial and honor gift opportunities. Two or three brochures with a tear-off coupon or special memorial/honor gift envelopes should be enclosed with an explanation that these are being provided for them to use throughout the year when they want to make these kinds of gifts. Also tell them how to secure additional brochures n a positive note that says "we know you will be using these ... and more".

Place brochures and envelopes in other highly visible places throughout the church buildings. When the brochure is up-dated and reprinted, be sure to replace old brochures/envelopes with the new ones. Remember, the more people see these brochures or envelopes, the more they will think about memorial and honor gift opportunities.

When the thank you and acknowledgment is sent to the donor who has made a memorial or honor gift, be sure to enclose a new Memorial/Honor Gift brochure or envelope. Perhaps a AP.S.@, if the acknowledgment is in the form of a letter, would be appropriate: AP.S. We have enclosed a Memorial=\/Honor Gift Envelope should you choose to make future memorial/honor gifts.@ Use every opportunity to remind persons of memorial/honor giving and how they can make such gifts.

At least once each year plan a "Service of Remembrance" on Sunday morning. (This idea was mentioned earlier in Chapter 3 - "V. Observances", since the celebration of this special Sunday is important not only to the memorials program but also to the entire planned giving and endowment program.) Let the focus of this worship experience be "remembering the saints" n those who have died during the year. This can become one of the congregation's most meaningful worship experiences.

Two particular times for such a service are Memorial Day Sunday and All Saints Day even though both of these days may create timing problems in your church for this celebration. (On Memorial Day weekend many families may be out-of-town and not present at worship. All Saints Day comes in the fall when your church may be involved with your annual budget campaign.) The church might therefore consider another Sunday such as "Homecoming Sunday" (if that is observed), "Heritage Sunday", or "Anniversary Sunday". The church can choose its own day, but make it a high moment in the life of the congregation.

This service offers a good opportunity to lift up the names of those who have died since the last annual celebration. It also provides a prime opportunity to dedicate memorials and honor gifts. Be sure to invite the families of those you will be remembering and honoring. You may want to have some of them participate as worship leaders. The special memorial brochures and/or special memorial gift envelopes (discussed earlier) should be inserted in the bulletin and perhaps mailed out the week before in the newsletter. This service will be a reminder to many of the memorial or honor gift they had planned to make but have not gotten around to making.

The pastor is usually the first contact from the church with families when someone dies. The planning of the funeral oftentimes involves wishes of the family regarding memorial contributions. The pastor should be prepared to offer suggestions as to how this can best be handled. Brochures can be placed in the narthex of the church prior to the funeral or if permissible on the registration stand at the funeral home. This is not a fund-raising effort on the part of the pastor or church. Instead, it is an effort at providing answers and guidance for those who wish to honor the memory of their loved one or friend by giving a gift that in turn will help and serve others.

Remember, if the idea of making memorial gifts to the Church is not intentionally lifted up and the opportunity to give such a gift is not made convenient, these gifts will in all probability be given to other institutions and causes -n or perhaps not given to any cause. Many of us have good intentions of making these kinds of gifts; but unless the church makes it convenient, we may forget to do so.

Memorial and honor gift opportunities give us meaningful ways to express some of our deepest feelings. They offer unique ways for us to express our Christian stewardship as faithful disciples of Jesus Christ. When we make these special gifts we are blessed with good thoughts and warm feelings. We have remembered and honored those dear to us and at the same time made possible a special ministry in the name of Christ through the Church.

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